Every Saturday, Mark and I get in the car around 10:30 a.m. to head out to eat. Pretty much the first thing out of our mouths as we’re heading down the hill from our driveway is, “Do we feel ‘good’ or do we feel ‘bad’? If we feel good, we’re heading to the Thai place or the bagel place or the salad place. If we feel bad, which I am ashamed to say is too often the case, we head for something fried.
Mark had been hearing these commercials for fried pickles at Zaxby’s and after we concluded that we felt bad, we headed straight over there to try them. Oh, my goodness. They bread dill pickles with cornmeal and then deep fry them. And then, they serve them with ranch dressing. I could have eaten five orders of those fried pickles.
So after the pickles and then the Chicken Divan with the mayonnaise and cheese in it, it was time to put on the brakes. So tonight we had salad and bread. Now here’s a trick I learned after eating a salad at Buca Di Beppo. It’s how to make crispy prosciutto. I almost always have some prosciutto in the fridge. It keeps forever and if you get it at Trader Joe’s it costs next to nothing. You take a few slices and bake it at 400 degrees for about ten minutes. That’s it! Then you crumble it on top of a salad instead of bacon.
Here’s how I make my award-winning salad, at least award-winning in my house. You take a head of iceberg lettuce. I don’t want any grief here. Iceberg rules for salads. Chop it up and put it in a bowl. Then add thinly sliced red onions, green olives cut in half, and either grated Parmesan cheese or gorgonzola crumbles. Some people can’t handle blue cheese. They think it tastes like barf. But I just love it. Bring on the stinky cheese is all I’ve got to say. Crumble the prosciutto and throw it on top.
Then you make your own dressing. Sprinkle some salt and pepper on the salad. Then sprinkle on some oregano and the tiniest bit of sugar. Drizzle some vegetable oil over the top and then sprinkle half as much apple cider vinegar. Toss it and taste. Adjust as needed. You will never go back to bottled dressing again.
I happened to have way too many rolls of Pillsbury Crescent Rolls because I had a bunch of coupons for them and I can’t resist a good deal. So to disguise the fact that we’d had crescent rolls for three straight days, I made flat bread by just smooshing out the dough on a cookie sheet, brushing it with olive oil and topping it with salt, oregano and grated Parmesan cheese. If the Pillsbury Bake-Off were tomorrow and I actually wrote this recipe down, I’d be a million dollars richer.
So there’s our healthy meal. The boys loved it. And it now buys me a one-way ticked to Badville, the land of fried deliciousness where we in the South worship at the Temple of Grease.