We might just starve, part two

Awhile back, I told ya’ll about our annual get-together with my in-laws and my son and daughter-in-law in the mountains. We bring enough food to last for two weeks even though the trip only lasts three days because, after all, we might starve.

There is a rumor of snow in Middle Tennessee tonight. The weather service is calling for “significant accumulation.” Normally, the level of frenzied discussion of snow is in direct correlation to the lack of actual snowfall we receive. But this does not keep us from engaging in sheer panic and food hoarding.

So today I went to the Publix just to get a few things. Some mushrooms and a head of lettuce. But I could feel the fear of my fellow shoppers as I wheeled my buggy toward the meat section. There might be snow. Significant accumulation. The bread was almost gone. I pick up a loaf.

Pork chops. I could probably use some pork chops. Just in case. And chicken. Chicken is always good. Fruit. Fresh fruit. Is scurvy still around? It could be. Who knows how long we’ll be trapped in the house? I pick up some tangerines and apples.

Breakfast. Do I have enough for breakfast if we’re snowed in for a week? Sausage. I must have sausage. And Little Smokies, an essential survival tool during a blizzard. Blizzard? What exactly does “significant accumulation” mean?

I pick up a bag of biscuits, too. And some spaghetti. And some potatoes. Starch. We’re going to need a lot of starch if we’re going to survive this. And milk. My God, I’ve forgotten the milk. I barely make it to the dairy case in time. The threat of calcium deficiency weighs heavily on my mind. I don’t even drink milk. But I might have to start.

The last real threat to our survival occurred only a few weeks ago. Forecasters at the television stations were warning of dire consequences if the citizenry was not completely prepared for a long confinement to our homes.

We spent an anxious night, listening for the snapping of large tree branches and the sound of our roof caving in from the weight of the anticipated snow. And we woke up to this. I don’t think you could actually measure the depth of the snow with a pica pole.

However. HOWEVER. We were prepared. I had laid in supplies for this storm, too. We Southerners are alert and ready for every weather emergency. But we are particularly attuned to the possibility of snow, with all the precarious dangers it brings.  There might be sliding. There might be swerving. You could fall down the steps and break your leg!  Attending school, of course, is out of the question. Work is not a possibility either.

So I am ready. The protection of my family is my foremost concern. After all, we might just starve.


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8 responses to “We might just starve, part two

  1. Nikki Troutman

    That is one of the funniest things I’ve read in a long time! Actually, I just read it aloud to my fiance, who happens to work at Publix. We were joking that the empty shelves may not necessarily reflect panic – just poor management. In his store, the shelves could be empty but there’s always a demo station. Priorities. LOL 🙂

  2. Ridiculously funny!!! I stocked up on milk, bread, and juice when I got lunch at Kroger today. You just can’t be too prepared for a long weekend trapped in the house by snow. I’m going to have to stop at Cracker Barrel tomorrow to get a dozen corn muffins. A big batch of vegetable soup is in the very near future.

  3. 18″ of snow on the ground 0 to -5 below with wind chill of 18-20 to night, no panic…

  4. 18″ of snow on the ground, 0 to -5 tonight with a wind chill of -18 to -20, the garage is a big refirgerator and we are cooking on our Webber Gas Grill tomorrow night, it’s the quality of life in Minnesota…

    • the south in my mouth

      Now you’re really scaring me. But I’ll bet every time it snows in Minnesota the power doesn’t go out. We are simply not prepared for adversity.

  5. Wine. Do. Not. Forget. The. Wine.

    • the south in my mouth

      Oh, honey, I was at the wine store today getting three more boxes of Corbett Canyon. I believe I now have eight. I am ready.

  6. Terrell Jones

    Gail I think that is one you do not have to worry about. With Catherine that is uno no 1

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