“You’re going to humiliate me on the internet, aren’t you?” complained Mark.

Yes, I am.

So last night we had our kick-off party for Oyster Easter, CRC’s main fundraiser, at a local Nashville restaurant and I left the boys home alone to fend for themselves for supper. I get back about 9 p.m. and here’s what I find. Two empty bottles. One of garden variety canola oil from my beloved Publix and one of super expensive extra virgin olive oil from my also beloved Costco. They were both three-quarters full when I left. What on earth.

“We made French fries in the Fry Baby,” said Mark. “And we ran out of canola oil.”

We ran out of canola oil. We ran out of canola oil. So we used the super expensive olive oil to fry potatoes. “Did you use the potatoes from the farmer’s market?” I ask, trying to conceal my horror. “No, we used the frozen French fries from the freezer,” said Mark.

The frozen french fries. The ones that have been in the freezer for a year and a half. The freezer-burned, ancient frozen French fries bathed in my expensive olive oil.

Well, okay then. All righty. Except for frying okra and chicken livers, I have not let Mark into the kitchen inĀ  almost twenty years so I suppose you could say this is my fault. I’m sure Mark will seize upon that.

“You know,” he says, “I’d like to use the Fry Baby more often.” Oh, oh. So today I run to Costco for these. There will be no more oil shortages in this house. The Exxon Valdez did not produce as much vegetable oil as I purchased at the Costco. And I swallowed hard and replenished my very expensive olive oil.

I love both my boys. But they are boys. They are not schooled in the difference between common vegetable oil and extra virgin olive oil. I must be more vigilant.


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4 responses to “Boys

  1. Terrell Jones

    Hey Mark! Great answer.

  2. Mary Ann

    Were they good? That’s what I want to know. Did they save any for you? Evidently not and that is why you are mad ha. M.A.

  3. Mark

    They were effing delicious, and no, we didn’t save any for her. Nor will we, in the future, after this libelous screed.

  4. Noah

    Excuse me, but the only part I took in this little scheme was the eating of the fries. I had nothing to do with the sacrificing of your oil >.>

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