It is the last game of the regular season for my beloved Tennessee Volunteers. It’s been a tough season. But we have a chance to become bowl eligible. This requires that I bring out the big gun, the top dog of football food. Nathan’s Beef Franks in a Blanket.
I have sampled many versions of pigs in a blanket, both frozen and homemade. I consider myself a connoisseur of this genre of snack food. And I know to give my Vols the edge they need to achieve a stellar 6-6 season, I must procure some Nathan’s Beef Franks in a Blanket at once.
I must pause to say that I realize Nathan’s makes beef franks in a blanket but I will always refer to them as pigs in a blanket because that’s just what they’re called down here in the South, no matter what they’re made of. Because Nathan’s is a Northern company it is sometimes hard to find them in Southern grocery stores. But the Publix never disappoints and I snatch up a box of 40 pigs from the freezer section.
I can tell the cosmic forces of football goodwill are flowing strongly from Albert Drive to Neyland Stadium as the intoxicating odor of baking weenies and puff pastry find their way into the den. Many Vols fans employ various good luck techniques to ensure victory. Some change clothes at halftime. Others migrate to different rooms in the house to watch as geographic location can affect the team’s performance. I make Nathan’s pigs in a blanket.
Well, of course it worked. The volunteers triumphed over Kentucky 24-14. We are going to a bowl game. It may be the Tidy Bowl, but our season is not over yet. I am quite sure the boys in orange knew that the margin of victory was directly tied to the number of pigs in a blanket I consumed, which were quite a few. I even thought I saw Coach Dooley wink at me during the post-game interview. I know, coach. No need for thanks.