The internet is such an amazing piece of business. You know that my friend, JoAnn, and I are going to watch the Royal Wedding together at a cabin in the Smoky Mountains. And some of you may remember me writing about it. Well, the other day this lovely lady named Daphne from CNN iReport e-mails me. They are having a scone recipe contest. She asks if I would like to enter.
Well, of course I would! So I pull out my tried and true English Tea cookbook and offer up a couple of recipes for scones and Devonshire cream (only in the South would you think it appropriate to make Devonshire cream with cream cheese, but we do).
So, Daphne e-mails me back to ask some questions and, in the process, asks if I would file some iReports from the scene of our wedding celebration. Oh, this will be fun! Back when JoAnn and I watched Charles and Diana’s wedding there was no internet, at least for technological commoners. No texting, Tweeting or Facebooking either. So it took weeks for people to discover that, yes, pretty much everyone thought Diana’s dress was slightly too poofy and that she looked a little shaky as she walked down that long aisle. And how about no kiss from Charles? That spoke volumes but we didn’t know that at the time.
I must confess that way back then I actually wanted to marry Prince Charles, for all the wrong reasons of course. I imagined living the comfy life without having to worry about things like money and responsibility. Just enjoy a few tea parties, dress up for royal occasions and knock about in one castle or another. Then I found out smoking was probably not allowed and that being over-served at a bar was a definite no-no. So that was the end of that.
Next Friday’s wedding will be consumed, chewed, and either swallowed or spit out second by second. Slash Food is reporting that the Royal Kitchen will turn out 10,000 canapes for the reception. That comes out to about 15 canapes per guest, which seems like a pretty substantial portion to me. Actually, I just thought about this, but has anyone actually seen Queen Elizabeth eat? I imagine her standing at the reception, crumbs of the miniature Cornish pasty she has just consumed dribbling down her chin as she downs yet another glass of champagne and contemplates how disappointed she is at this unseemly marital match. That’s probably not fair. But I cannot imagine that she is completely blissful about the prospect of inviting the new in-laws, who run a party store, over for tea.
But I digress. Next Friday, in my official Royal Wedding pajamas, I will be making some creamed mushrooms on toast and filing my iReports with great gusto. And as I consume another glass of champagne I am sure they will become wittier and wittier. Until the folks from CNN beg me to stop. For my first official iReport, visit this link.