Egg salad and olive tea sandwiches

I know. I know. Some of you are sick of the Royal Wedding. But I am not. I just got the most fabulous invitation from my friend, Wanda, to come to her house at precisely 3:50 a.m. to watch the wedding. Dress code is optional (jammies are acceptable), but it is mandatory to wear a hat. I don’t think I have any hats other than ball caps and I am sure that is not what she has in mind. I guess now that those feather things stuck in the hair of young Royals are fashionable I could just bobby pin a feather to my head.

Unfortunately, of course, I had to decline since I will be in my mountain cabin with my friend, JoAnn, where jammies are required and hats are not.

So, one of the featured tea sandwiches at our little party will be egg salad and olive tea sandwiches. I do not know the origins of this recipe, but I have some very strong opinions about good egg salad. First of all, it should never be sweet. Pickle juice can never be involved. I feel the same way about potato salad, but that’s another story. Second, if you can find a grocery store that will sell you boiled eggs/already peeled go there. My beloved Publix sells them. I don’t care how many tips or techniques you read for easily peeling boiled eggs. They never work. It always makes you regret making egg salad.

Another thing. Never use a recipe. This is a salad that you just have to mix up until it looks right to you. But here are the ingredients, in my opinion.

Boiled eggs

Mayonnaise (Duke’s is best, of course, but Hellmann’s in a pinch)

Salt

Pepper

Green olives

What I do is take the eggs and run them through the food processor a few seconds. I like a fine-grained egg salad. If you like chunky bits of white, then just mash them with a fork. Add enough mayonnaise to get it the consistency you like. After it sits in the icebox a few hours, the eggs will absorb some of the mayonnaise and you may have to add a bit more. Salt and pepper. Taste. Chop up the olives in the food processor until they achieve a small dice. Add as many olives as you want. If you don’t like green ones, use black ones. This is your egg salad, for goodness sake. And it’s not rocket science.

If you’re going to serve the egg salad at a formal event, such as a funeral or reception or Royal Wedding party, it is essential to serve it on crustless bread. White or wheat, it doesn’t matter. Round, triangle or finger-shaped doesn’t matter either. But here is my tip on this, which may seem like a no brainer. Cut the crusts off the bread. Then spread it with the egg salad. Top with a remaining slice of crustless bread. Then cut it into the desired shape.

You will go crazy if you cut the bread into fingers first, for example, and then try to spread on the filling. There are enough things that drive me crazy in life (like people who talk on cell phones in the supermarket check-out line and never acknowledge the checker outer – how utterly rude). Egg salad shouldn’t be one of them.

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Filed under eggs, tea sandwiches

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